“Think fast.”


                Proceeds to toss a soda in his direction.


Proceeds to dive for and fumble with tossed soda until unlikely success in catching.

So here’s what I’m gonna do!
First four people that want to/can!
Let’s play a League game! 
I really suck at League. Really. Really. Suck. We’ll play a beginner bots game or two.
If only three people ask this of me, we’ll bring in my roommate so we don’t have to pug (she’s bronze V it’s okay don’t feel bad)
First three people that ask for a prompt in my ask
I’ll try and write whatever but it’s not going to be smut I can tell ya that
I’m not going to try anyone’s OCs or any self inserts because I know I wouldn’t be able to do anyone’s originals justice because wow I suck
It’ll take a while, but don’t worry they will get done
I won’t do anything Attack on Titan, Welcome to Night Vale, Homestuck, Madoka, or Sherlock. I’m not quite in these fandoms (and I can never compare myself to Sherlock Holmes) and I wouldn’t be able to write it. If you make the request and I can’t write it because I’m not in that fandom I’ll let you know privately and we can work it out
I have Borderlands 2 on my PC if anyone wants to play that, too
Any number of people that want to can kick my ass in boardgame-online but I’m not sure if there’s a player cap. 
If you wanna play League then I can’t write you anything, I’m sorry
Please be following me, I don’t know how to talk to people I don’t know and it scares me to try
If you actually want to do anything else let me know but please be respectable I’m not putting my boobs on tumblr again. (Note: the only cosplay I have here is a debatable fem!Desmond
Yeah I think that’s about it, please be nice
I’ll do goofy voices if anyone wants? i can try to sing and embarrass myself, I know people like to make fun of others

So here’s what I’m gonna do!

First four people that want to/can!

First three people that ask for a prompt in my ask

I have Borderlands 2 on my PC if anyone wants to play that, too

Any number of people that want to can kick my ass in boardgame-online but I’m not sure if there’s a player cap. 


[Holy shit there’s officially 100 of you.

Seeing as I left the important bits of my Clay cosplay at home (the wig. I left the wig at home.) I can’t do anything super legit like I normally would (if I do anything at all) but I don’t know, maybe we could play League or I could write some prompts for the first four or five people that want to.

I’m not special, but I like you guys?

I like all 100 of you.]

Fail-safe Program | [closed] 


Sleep mode activated. Entering sleep mode… … … …

Scanning new update… Update by User CLAYKACZMAREK accepted. Authorization needed… Authorization accepted. Loading… 

System reboot in progress… Standing by…

Unit CLAYK is online. Scanning protocols… Protocols upheld. New update does not interfere with Unit CLAYK protocols.

Compiling infrastructure…

Clay’s appearance was much smoother and quicker this time than the last. When he appeared before the other, his posture was more lax and relaxed. His expression was stoic, however, and his chin was tipped to the side as he regarded the other.

"What did you do?" He said plainly. 

Relief. When the AI was released from the safe mode, Clay could feel himself functioning at whole again. New program functions were running, and he could feel almost normal if it weren’t for the computer awareness in the back of his mind. 

"Updated you." Clay stated, passing a hand through his hair in the familiar stress-related gesture. "Updated the system." The blond watched the tip of the AI’s chin, unnerved. "We should be able to function simultaneously in here, now."




Fail-safe Program | [closed] 


User Identified. Designation CLAYKACZMAREK accepted; User is now registered into Unit CLAYK database.  New information accepted: Authority given to User CLAYKACZMAREK under User REBECCAC84; User CLAYKACZMAREK ran initial failed reboot.  

Clay frowned and hesitated. He was silently as he paced, again scanning over the other with a piercing gaze. As he did so, he reviewed the data. Logically, the User must have logged in and, when the reboot failed, he was brought into the Black Room. That would mean he was human, just as Rebecca was…

His pacing slowed then until he stopped. “You’re Clay Kaczmarek?” He asked. “You’re—You’re Clay Kaczmarek. I’m Clay Kaczmarek.” 


He reached forward to grab the other’s shirt. “You got in from the outside! Clay Kaczmarek can’t be—”


He stumbled back, his image still visible but faltering in bright pixels. “Clay Kaczmarek can’t leave without a body—”


I can’t—”


Connected now to a program that shouldn’t have been running in the first place, the mix of memories and the share of errors that passed between the two systems. Crippled by the force of functioning errors, Clay was only vaguely aware that he’d been granted access to the internal programming of the Animus. The goal of his original submergence into the system resurfaced, along with the original coding of the AI sequence that he’d installed in his last moments… 

An update.

The only thing that could resolve the errors passing between the two and the crippling pain that accompanied them was the system update that he was going to perform, with the addition of a much-needed update to the computerized version of himself.

Clay took another unnecessary deep breath, forcing open the internal systems of the Black Room. Fail-safe methods were installed that kept him from the AI’s internal systems, but he knew the way around them like the back of his hand. Errors, programs, update scans had to be sifted through, but he saw his end goal clearly. A sequence close to DNA that he had to enable to force the AI into a sleep…

Without realizing it, Clay had cut a chunk of his own processing out when he forced the program to sleep. With the safe mode enabled, the connection between the two - himself and his programmed double - forced him into a semi-focused state, only giving him half of the processing speed that he needed to force a speedy update.

Steeling himself to the program’s reaction, he forced the update as quickly as he could, working around his original coding to fix the flawed AI into remembering that it was only a program meant to assist user:s.17 Clay was able to vaguely focus on the cruelty of such an act, but the AI itself had seemed to function normally on its own for so long… 

Programming for the AI reversed and updated, Clay forced the system coding forward again. All he had to do was perform the original update and reboot the systems. With the two of them connected the Black Room would accept the update as well, and the reboot would go through normally with his own authority, now that the AI had realized it… 

His mental state bogged down, Clay worked as quickly as he could. Time had always been strange in the Black Room, but now that he was working with half a mind it felt like hours had gone by before the system reboot was successfully performed.

Reboot program\Animus_drive\function.AI\userCLAYK

Reboot local_system\Animus3.0\AUTHORITY\userCLAYKACZMAREK

Fail-safe Program | [closed] 


Clay narrowed his eyes and stopped then. He momentarily reviewed this new information. It didn’t make sense. He was not a copy. He had data, he had proof. When will diagnostics finish its run?

He lifted a finger then and shook his head. This information was hard for him to process and his image glitched, a slight lag, before he turned to his copy again. Or was he the copy?

…Wait— “You rebooted the system?” He asked. His eyes narrowed. Did he have authority to provide updates? Only User REBECCAC84—Rebecca—had that sort of authorization. Maybe that was why the initial reboot failed. Clay’s eyes narrowed and he stepped closer to the other. “I’m right where I need to be. Who are you?”

"Rebecca is away." Rebecca was away, at least. With the imagined team that he’d completely made up in his programming… But… but if he hadn’t rebooted the system than who had? Data showed that an unknown user had done the update… Could he be real? Could the imagined world that he made actually be reality? “Authority rests with me when she’s gone, then Bill, then Shaun…” 

Flooded memories of a Roman graveyard, dirt, a trip to New York that he’d made on his own, frightened and alone and scarred… 

"I’m…" Clay closed his eyes tight, trying to deny the threat of another faulty breakdown in his current… not programming. His mind. His real mind. “I’m… Clay. Kaczmarek. Sytem reboot failed, Rebecca not in the program - I need to get out of here and manual reboot…” 

Fail-safe Program | [closed] 


The A.I. scanned the other’s face and read his expressions of distress.  It would have amused him if he did not immediately recognize the other’s face as the one he’d seen in his own memories—in mirrors, glasses, photos, reflections. He was looking at himself. Uncertain how to process this information, Clay paced around him, circling him while his eyes glazed over him. 

His question didn’t go unheard. But Clay did not immediately answer. What did he mean by that? 

"Can’t exactly leave, can I?" He deadpanned, his hands slid into his pockets and he rocked back on his heels. "A little difficult, considering." His lips twitched up in a sarcastic smile.  

While he spoke, his systems desperately scanned for an update on diagnostics. There was a clear error right in front of him—there were no other copies of himself created in the ANIMUS. But enacting a deletion would be the only way to be rid of the other—which was clearly too problematic—and his systems didn’t detect any threats. So who exactly was this copy? 

"What are you doing here?”

"You’re wrong." The accusation wasn’t at the program’s statement, but at it’s existence itself. "You can’t be here, I’m- I’m here." Clay swallowed - things were getting more difficult to understand. if the program was still there, then that meant that he’d failed, but memories of Desmond’s warm touch on his shoulder and Rebecca’s calm smile and Shaun’s reassuring sarcasm were clear despite the jumbled codes in his head. 

Clay took a deep breath, trying to ignore the feeling that he didn’t need it. “If you’re here, then Desmond didn’t get out, but I know he got out-” The reboot had clearly done something to his programming - but… but he wasn’t a program, was he?

"Reboot." Clay answered, snapping his head up at the image of himself, eyes narrowing. "I had to reboot the system - update the Animus program - you - you shouldn’t be here.

Fail-safe Program | [closed] 


System reboot in progress… Standing by…

ERROR: Initial reboot unsuccessful; Initiating reboot protocols… Searching last known good configuration…

System reboot in progress… Loading last known good configuration…

Unit CLAYK online. Running diagnostics… 

Scanning BLACK ROOM environment… 

…Unknown User detected. Lock down procedures stand by.

Scanning unknown user… … …

Scan complete. Threats detected: 0. Lockdown procedures disengaged. Pooling data on UNREGISTERED USER. Loading…

Data pooling complete. Data insufficient. New high priority objective: Collect sufficient data on UNREGISTERED USER. Secondary objective: Register UNREGISTERED USER in Unit CLAYK database.

Compiling infrastructure… 

Clay’s image didn’t appear immediately. His systems were still running diagnostics. The results would be quite a while since the initial reboot process was unsuccessful—but Clay could still function while it ran. He took the time to watch the other quietly in his environment. While his image formed, he walked toward the other to get a good look of him. Perhaps he’d be easier to identify if he could see the other’s face.

Unfamiliar code flashed through Clay’s scrambled mind, so much that he had to sift through it at the highest processing speed he could manage while he took in the broken environment. The blond jolted to his feet, closing his eyes tight to process through the code. He was connected to this place - through some fault in the miracle that brought him back to life, he could remember the island - the coding, the systems, the environment, everything about it was a fragmented, horrible memory.

All he had wanted was a simple reboot and-

Clay was forced to pause in the process of wiping digital sand off of his jeans. The reboot. Had it been real? Had he actually sat down in the Animus that morning after updating the wiring? Had it been real this whole time, the world he’d been living in, reborn through the goddess that had condemned him?

Straightening completely, Clay turned around, almost thrashing, frightened that he’d be the same program from before, that he’d see Desmond kneeling down next to him and know that he’d never actually gotten out because of some faulty guidance that Clay had given him-

But no. The only image there was a familiar one - the phantom of a mirror of a nightmare that left Clay’s mind searing in his head, unable to completely comprehend the situation. The fragmented image of himself that he’d made in desperation…

"You-" he gasped, staggering back while the memories of blood and linoleum resurfaced from years ago. "What are you still doing here?"

Fail-safe Program | [closed] 

Tinkering was good for putting Clay at ease. Of course, he hadn’t done it in quite some time without being stressed about time or safety, but it was calming, and the motions of updating the Animus systems while Rebecca wasn’t around had become a familiar pattern to the engineer. He was at home when he was updating systems. He liked it.

Of course, the internal systems had to be updated as well - a process he was slowly and steadily (or more accurately - as reluctantly as possible) getting himself more and more acclimated to. Desmond didn’t know how to function the inner workings of Rebecca’s new systems, but Clay had figured it out well enough on his own without touching the thing. They would switch places - Rebecca would go in to work inside and Clay would monitor her and tell her what needed work. Now, with no one around, it was up to him to update everything inside before Desmond had to go in again.

Pushing himself away from the completed machinery, Clay took a deep breath and pushed blond hair away from his forehead. “It’s just you and me now…” he muttered, glaring at the processor. There was no part of him that wanted to do this on his own, but he knew he’d have to if he wanted to have the programming done before the team got back from whatever field mission they were on…

Clay had seen Desmond do this a hundred times by then, so hooking up was only a little bit shaky because of the constant reminder he had to give himself. He wasn’t going down into memories. He would be fine. Just updating internal graphics and systems-

It was, however, in his right to freak out when the systems blacked out.

And though it lasted what felt like only a few minutes, the end product was worse. On top of the anxiety of the defunct systems, Clay was dropped into the remnants of a familiar nightmare. The fail-safe that he’d developed…

The island.